Hi, I’m Shaun — a fully qualified and insured Therapist and Coach.

This is my story.

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I come from a working-class family in Sussex — mum, dad, two older brothers. We didn’t have much, but we always had clean clothes, food on the table… and alcohol. Alcohol was a huge part of my childhood. It was always there. From a young age, I saw the good, the bad, and the truly ugly side of what it can do to people — and those around them.

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I remember feeling anxious from as young as four or five.

Crippled by it.

Even then, I’d spend hours on my own because I thought something was wrong with me. I believed every story my mind told me. I was terrified. Some nights, I hoped I wouldn’t wake up — it felt easier than living with that constant fear. But I couldn’t tell anyone. I was scared I’d be taken away from my family.

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I feared adults — parents, teachers, police. Anyone in authority.

I remember being at nursery school one day. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I was told to sit on a mat and not move until they said. So I sat there. I was too scared to even ask to go to the toilet. I ended up wetting myself. I didn’t say a word. When my mum arrived to pick me up, the damage was obvious. Everyone laughed. And then I had to walk home, soaked and ashamed. It took about 20 minutes, and the whole way I tortured myself, imagining what people must be thinking of me.

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Things didn’t get better. I kept everything inside.

The loneliness and depression grew.

By the time I got to secondary school, my anxiety was out of control. I had no confidence, couldn’t concentrate, and my teachers labelled me “naughty” and “disruptive.” They said I’d never amount to anything. And I believed them.

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At 12 years old, I discovered drugs.

Cannabis, at first — easy to find in the early ’90s rave scene. It helped me escape, numb the pain, and feel something close to peace. But by 15, I was barely going to school. I’d already internalised the belief that I was a lost cause, so I thought: what’s the point?

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I left school with no qualifications and had already moved on to harder Class A drugs. They worked — for a while. They quieted the anxiety more effectively than weed ever did. But the crash was harder, and the depression deeper.

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Bang.

At 21, it all came crashing down. I had a complete breakdown.

The constant use of drugs and years of running from my problems had caught up with me. I was unrecognisable — even to myself. I went to the doctor, got prescribed medication, and was referred for five free sessions with a counsellor.

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But that counsellor… had no empathy. No emotional intelligence. They just sat there with a textbook mentality and told me to “man up.” I left feeling even worse.

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Then came my new best friend: alcohol.

Drugs had stopped working. The counsellor didn’t help. But alcohol? That was familiar. I’d seen people turn to it my whole life: “Just need a drink to take the edge off.” So I thought I’d try. And from age 21 to 34, alcohol became my weekend escape.

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Every Friday I’d go out and wouldn’t come back until late Sunday. Pub, club, after-party — anything to avoid being alone with myself.

During the week, I hated who I was. I dreaded waking up. I was still terrified of authority — bosses, business owners, anyone with a title. Coming from a corporate background where fear ruled the culture, I felt trapped. Imprisoned. Five days a week.

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Eventually, I began blacking out. Waking up in heroin dens. Missing work. Getting into fights. Stealing.

One Christmas, I didn’t even pick up my five-year-old daughter. I was still drunk.

And then came breakdown number two.

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Nothing lasts forever — especially not a lifetime of suppressed feelings, trauma, toxic relationships, and self-hate.

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I hadn’t dealt with anything:

My childhood.

The beatings from a close family member.

Losing my dad to cancer.

It was all still in me.

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I’d hit the point where something had to change.

Either life had to get better — or it had to end. There was no in-between.

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That’s when my partner introduced me to Jane — a therapist, coach, and mentor. And I honestly believe she saved my life.

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Jane wasn’t like anyone I’d ever worked with. She was raw, real, and deeply empathetic. No cliches. No “and how does that make you feel?” She challenged me. She explained why I was feeling what I was feeling. She gave me tools. She held me accountable. She actually cared.

 

Jane helped me understand anxiety, taught me self-awareness, how to set boundaries, and most importantly — that being myself was enough.

We’re all enough. We just have to remember who we are.

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I worked with Jane for 10 years, every month.

She’s now retired in South Africa, but we still speak every few days. I joke she’s my second mum — and she’d probably laugh reading this, but it’s true.

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Now?

I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. And it’s getting better every day.

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I’ve been clean for 12 years.

I’ve built strong emotional intelligence.

I’ve drastically reduced my anxiety.

I’ve developed deep self-awareness.

And I genuinely like who I am — without fear or judgement.

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And the best part?

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I get to give back.

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As a qualified therapist and coach, I now help others who feel the way I once did.

There’s nothing more rewarding than watching someone come alive and accept themselves.

 

We live in a world that’s too fast, too loud, and too disconnected.

Anxiety is everywhere.

People feel lost, not good enough, burnt out, numb.

But you don’t have to stay stuck.

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Together, we’ll find a path forward — one that actually works for ​you.